Avoiding being triggered

Perhaps the greatest lesson I have learnt this year is that I will never get to a point where I am not emotionally triggered under particular circumstances.

For a long time I think I have been trying to get to place where I can roll with the punches regardless of what is thrown at me. I thought that getting to a point of equanimity meant getting to place where my old buttons could be pushed and I would be unaffected. I think this is cloud cuckoo land. It may exist in some mythical perfect reality but it probably will never be my life.

No, rather the point is to be able to know when I am triggered, to find the support I need to unhook my emotional response, and face back in to the situation to achieve what was hoped for in the first place.

When I find myself triggered by someone I have two choices. If the person is someone close to me it is probably worth explaining that I find that particular circumstance more emotionally charged than may be expected. But if it is someone I only interact with occasionally, it is probably better to simply find a way to recover my equilibrium.

Perhaps the greatest gift for me this year has been the discovery that I have people in my life who can and will help me recover my equilibrium. And with this discovery I no longer have to be afraid of being triggered – I can recover. I no longer have to wait for the dawn of the era of cloud cuckoo land. I can live a beautiful, rich and wholehearted life right now.

5 thoughts on “Avoiding being triggered

  1. Thanks for this – life’s work for me it seems. Choosing to respond in one way or another, not reacting. I am reminded of “learning” how to fall. If I tense up, my injury is likely to be greater, if I relax, not as much. May we all ease into our choices and not weaponize them.

  2. I pray for such detachment constantly. It’s coming but with Fran and you, I think it’s the work of a lifetime. For me, it seems that a good part of this is knowing who I am and accepting myself while trying to respond rather than react. Thanks for sharing your struggle! Blessings in 2018!

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