It is perhaps one of the most devastating things to discover that we are capable of hurting those we love without intending to. It is awful too, to discover the ways in which we are capable of self-sabotaging ourselves.
The obvious response is to despise those parts of ourselves which cause such destruction. But that gets us nowhere.
The only way to a way through is to lovingly embrace those parts of ourselves which we are least able to accept. To pray for the grace to be able to accept that this is a part of me.
We find ourselves stumbling into self-compassion. Reaching out and caring for the least parts of ourselves. Tending to those most tender parts – which so like children from abusive backgrounds misbehave and act out. We must embrace and accept that which we find unacceptable in ourselves.
It is only at this point that our woundedness and pain becomes wrapped in the chrysalis of transformation. Our pain and our woundedness cannot be transformed unless we spin the chrysalis of compassion and acceptance ourselves.
God provides the invitation and the support we need, be we need to make the choice and do the work.