On grieving

I’m not sure I should be writing this post. There are those who are so much more deeply affected by the death of the person I am grieving.

She was a very close friend of a good friend of mine. I had known her for 13 years, but because we lived on different continents I have seen her only three times in the last nine years. Her wedding, a visit to Cape Town, and a lunch in Manchester last year. We didn’t really have much contact in between.

She was terminally ill for some time, and I knew when we last met that it was likely that I would not see her again.

She was a wonderful woman; she was intelligent; she had a fantastic sense of humour; she was optimistic and adventurous; she was open and generous. The world has definitely lost one of its brightest lights.

I find myself wondering whether I have a right to grieve. Her death does not affect my daily life at all. And yet, and yet, as I sit and remember her wide smile and her generosity of spirit I feel tears welling up.

Grief is a strange beast – it seems to be that there is nothing to do but to be true to where I am. To offer thanks that I had the great privilege of knowing this extraordinary woman and allow myself to feel the sense of loss that I feel.

Some hours after I wrote these paragraphs, I sat with my grief as a colleague led a group in noticing the image of God that we had. Almost immediately I saw that God was weeping, as the picture filled out, I saw God was weeping as he held Catherine. And I understood that God too is weeping at a life cut far too short.



4 thoughts on “On grieving

  1. Grieving is an important part of living fully. We feel deeply and grieve for different reasons and these feelings are valid. And Mags, as you wrote, God weeps with us.

  2. It is interesting the ways we compare and judge grief. I was just having this conversation yesterday. It’s tempting to try to assign worthiness to pain, when in truth each grief is different, and valid just as it is. Sorry for your loss.

  3. So well spoken and so clear… through your words we are able to face our own reactions to situations that are surprising different to what we expected. God is in all

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