What is the fruit?

The last few years have taught me that there really is nothing as important at the next step. Whatever grand plans I might have, the next step is the only one that really matters. When goals are not so clear and the outcome of a particular journey ill-defined, it becomes even more true.

This year, in particular, I have been living in a fog. That great quote from Thomas Merton has been more real to me than I care to admit.

My Lord God I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

I really am living in blind faith at the moment. I don’t know where my current trajectory is leading. The path is entirely clouded. But when I still and when I allow myself to use the greatest honesty that I can muster in the moment, the next step does emerge.

It offers no greater clarity than the foot-fall I left behind, but something in me assents.

As I journey further along this path, there is one significant reassurance – in the last six months I have had the joy of reconciling three old relationships. One with someone who inadvertently caused me great harm; one a relationship which had ended awkwardly; and the third a friend from childhood whom I wounded badly.

Many years ago a wise spiritual director once suggested that the old gospel saying is worth heeding – by their fruit you shall know them. I am hoping that his wisdom holds here! I trust that these reconciliations are good fruit.

2 thoughts on “What is the fruit?

  1. Dear Mags, I have read your book and been greatly inspired by it but I echo Thomas Merton’s words at the moment. I seek God’s will for my life that is left to me ( I am 71) but have no real direction. Are you still seeing people as a Spiritual Director, I feel I have need of one?

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