After my last post on my desire to increase my interior freedom by paying attention to the way I speak, several people commented on the dangers of setting such a goal. The main point they were trying to make was that transformation or redemption is not something we can achieve on our own. Indeed, it often only when we recognise our own powerlessness that true transformation can occur.
I thoroughly agree. Over the last few years I have become more and more convinced in the utter poverty of my own capacity to will myself to anything. And more and more awed by the action of grace.
Grace to me is the action of God. It is something I actively pray for, but not something over which I have any control whatsoever. I can’t con God by trying to behave better, or by bargaining, or by any of the subtle manipulations that we use in every day relationships. No, I have to stand before God in the nakedness of my need.
Nonetheless, by attending to my word, I hope it will change some of the lazy habits of communication. That in paying attention, I will become more aware of my acute need for grace.
Ultimately, I pray that in God’s good time that the grace of transformation may enter once again. So that I will be impeccable in my word.
Perhaps as the year begins to get underway, it may be worthwhile to ask – what grace do you seek this year?