I really hope most people find forgiveness easier than I do.

This week I’ve had an interesting experience. In that wonderful world of social networking I stumbled across a photograph of a person who caused me a great deal of pain many years ago. Time and time again over the intervening years I have combed over the events and each time managed to let go a little more.

Stumbling across that photograph this week was a great gift, because I realised that the emotional ties to that particular incident have finally fallen slack. When I look at the happy, relaxed face of this person I can celebrate her joy. And I realise that I have finally forgiven.

More than that, I feel like I have finally discovered what it is to forgive. I believe forgiveness is a grace. Something to be prayed for, not something I can will myself into. Nonetheless it has taken a fair bit of interior work over the years to loosen the emotional threads. Now, finally, the threads can be pulled a bit and it doesn’t evoke a response in me.

I thought I had forgiven this person a few years ago when I finally was able to lay to rest the sense of blame. But this is one step further, and it is truly freedom.

4 thoughts on “Forgiveness

  1. Mags… I experienced grace recently… wallet and passport both pickpocketed in Geneva rail station. I told my wife that I forgive him/her right away. (and I truly did, surprising enough to me !!). They apparantly needed the $$ more than me, and later, my passport and wallet were found, sans cash. I chalked it up to a somewhat considerate thief and thanked him/her. Am I crazy? This is not like me of years past, but it is easy for me to forgive and understand now. <

    • I’m glad you were able to do this! In my experience my capacity to forgive is linked to the kind of offense. I find things that are more clearly personal take me a fair bit longer.

  2. Pingback: Reconciliation | Mags Blackie

  3. Forgiveness is a complicated thing. I said I’d forgiven someone a long time ago, and we continued to try and move past the issue. But really, saying it and trying to forget the bad deed were different things. Every time things got bad, that bad thing would resurface. So even though, ‘forgiveness’ was what was needed, forgetting a trying not use the bad thing against that person was a lot harder. In the end, the universe worked its magic and removed the person from my life…and only now when I am not fighting to save something, can I sort of forgive them more because I no longer can use what they did against them…its pointless and won’t change the reality. So as you say, forgiveness is very much an internal thing…we may be able to fake it on the outside to an extent.Its a process, I guess.

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