I really hope most people find forgiveness easier than I do.
This week I’ve had an interesting experience. In that wonderful world of social networking I stumbled across a photograph of a person who caused me a great deal of pain many years ago. Time and time again over the intervening years I have combed over the events and each time managed to let go a little more.
Stumbling across that photograph this week was a great gift, because I realised that the emotional ties to that particular incident have finally fallen slack. When I look at the happy, relaxed face of this person I can celebrate her joy. And I realise that I have finally forgiven.
More than that, I feel like I have finally discovered what it is to forgive. I believe forgiveness is a grace. Something to be prayed for, not something I can will myself into. Nonetheless it has taken a fair bit of interior work over the years to loosen the emotional threads. Now, finally, the threads can be pulled a bit and it doesn’t evoke a response in me.
I thought I had forgiven this person a few years ago when I finally was able to lay to rest the sense of blame. But this is one step further, and it is truly freedom.