Relationships are minefields

There are several relationships between people around me at the moment which have the potential to end in a train wreck. In each case there is a significant, potentially explosive, factor which is lurking. In some cases, both members are consciously aware of its presence, in some, just one member is.

But in watching these relationships unfold, it occurs to me, that actually all relationships are minefields. Baggage from childhood, from unresolved past experiences and a huge lack of self-knowledge set the scene. All of us have charges which are just waiting to be triggered.

The interesting thing though, is that the triggering need not necessarily be disastrous. In a truly loving, supportive relationship, the explosion can be safely contained. Perhaps what we should seek in relationship is not a clear field, but rather a companion who has dealt enough with their own inner turmoil that they are not too frightened by our explosions.

Perhaps growth and maturation in relationships is not about helping the other completely avoid the mines, but occasionally it may be setting the conditions so that it can be safely discharged.

4 thoughts on “Relationships are minefields

  1. Agree completely – especially with your final, wise statement.

    We all bring triggers and history to our friendships and loves, and we’re lucky when we find people whose “stuff” complements ours.

    And even though it’s risky, it’s so worth it!

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