I’m struck by the juxtaposition of two questions. In the gospel this Sunday we heard that familiar question – ‘And you, who do you say that I am?’ It is a good question to ponder on occasion. In that imaginative way, to allow myself to enter the scene and to see what my response is when Jesus asks this question of me.
Last week, in my own spiritual direction session, my director asked me – ‘And where is Jesus?’ I find that question to be a useful one. As soon as it asked, I normally have a pretty clear sense. Stopping and allowing myself to notice Jesus usually helps things shift a little. I begin to notice things which I had not quite seen before. Sometimes that is into a happier space, sometimes it calls forth an acknowledgement of pain.
For the moment, I am not so interested in allowing myself to explore the question of who I say Jesus is, as I am in sitting with Jesus. I don’t want to explore my theology, I simply desire the companionship. I have no doubt this season will pass, and in time, the former question will again rise in importance.
Noticing the difference in these two questions is important. Whilst both questions can lead to a conversation with Jesus, right now, it is the latter question which is providing balm for my soul. So it is this question to which I am returning again and again in my prayer – where is Jesus?
Which question is drawing you more today? Perhaps neither of these, but something else entirely. Where is Jesus? And what is his invitation to you?