Another loss

My heart is heavy and spirit is sad. Yesterday morning I read of the death of an academic whom I knew a little. I have known him for six years and I was on a three day writing retreat with him less than a month ago. I delighted in hearing the stories he and another participant shared of their expeditions and holidays together. He was a good man who will be sorely missed by those who knew him far better than I did.

His untimely death is yet another reminder of the fragility of life. It seems that this a theme for this year. There have been too many deaths, too many losses already this year. And when I am able to raise my eyes to gaze on the wider world, there are the two Malaysian Air disasters and the horrors of the Middle East. What is it with this year??

When I am able to stop and simply be I feel my grief. I am slightly torn, because I did not know Duncan all that well. If I had not seen spent time in his company so recently I would not feel his loss as I do. I am sure there is also an echo of Greg’s death which I haven’t quite laid to rest.

I am left with two thoughts – it is time to prepare properly for the possibility of my own death. Something that I have been meaning to do for a good four or five years. And that I need to live – I do try to do that, and in some ways I have managed to accomplish things I would have regretted not doing (writing and publishing Rooted in Love is top on that list).

It occurs to me that I don’t have a ‘bucket list’ – things I wish I could do, but rather a ‘some other cool name list’ that may be worth compiling – the things I know I will regret not doing.

3 thoughts on “Another loss

  1. In a way, I’m glad you have not written your bucket list yet. I say this because I wrote a very short bucket list when I found out that I had breast cancer. This has a way of focusing the mind…
    A book I read at the time, which I found very useful and which stays with me to this day, is Stephen Levine’s A Year To Live.
    Finally I feel for you for being so impacted by the deaths around you and the world events. Javier Melloni, whom I admire very much, wrote that the advent of the Kingdom in one’s life sharpens one’s compassion…

  2. I valued your reflections around your experience of loss this year. Thank you for sharing. I hope you are able to find space to befriend your own death as you would like and experience your present life even more deeply and freely. Take care

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