As a chemist I find the idea of equilibrium much more helpful than balance. Equilibrium is something that is capable of re-establishing itself under new circumstances. The position of the equilibrium shifts, but ultimately it finds a new place and restores itself.
Occasionally life circumstances throw us curve balls. Circumstances that knock us sufficiently that equilibrium is temporarily lost, but sooner or later we adjust.
The last few weeks have presented such circumstances for me. I have been knocked more than I expected. I suspect it was a case of positive interference (to use an analogy from wave mechanics) – two fairly big things coinciding in such a way that the additive effect was substantial. But remarkably quickly I find my equilibrium reasserting itself.
So, I cannot help but pause – taking time to notice those things which have helped.
– Taking time to allow myself to really experience the full impact
– Spending time only with people who I really get me, or those who I presume won’t get me at all.
– Seeing my spiritual director often
– Laughing with my spiritual director often
I think the latter has been especially important. I tend to take life fairly seriously, but a good sense of humour is an invaluable asset.
There certainly have been things that have been less helpful – mostly efforts of well intentioned friends which have really missed the mark.
In the end I am once again humbled by grace. I have not moved myself to a new place of equilibrium, it has just gently reasserted itself.