Delicious fatigue

Fatigue is something that plagues me. I don’t have a huge amount of energy to begin with and I am just beginning to the learn the extent of my own limitations. So fatigue has been an old friend. I understand now that all too often my fatigue is rooted in my emotions. An unresolved issue is the energetic equivalent of trying to fill a bathtub when there is no plug.

And yet, there are days when the fatigue has a completely different quality. It is a fatigue at the end of a long and productive day, where I have managed to face things rather than procrastinate; where I have made phone calls and sent emails that I had been avoiding.

The image of the bathtub is a helpful one. I begin to really see the cost of my avoidance.

And yet in the middle of the day the temptation to say – I’ll get to it a little later – can be so powerful.

On days when I do get it right and I do feel that I have worked a good day I choose to savour the delicious taste of the fatigue of an honest day’s work.

I feel the temptation to wonder why I can’t achieve this every day? It is an important question. And I think it is good to ask such a question when I am feeling reasonably well. I know that fatigue plays havoc with my capacity to discern, and so even in this most succulent fatigue I am not at my best.

So for now I will simply celebrate that I know such days at all. And I will pray for the grace to deal with the things I least want to just a little more timeously!

3 thoughts on “Delicious fatigue

  1. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox
    and now each time a comment is added I get four
    e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service?
    Many thanks!

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