Growing up

I am beginning to suspect that growing up or maturing is not what I thought I was.

I had hoped there would come a time when I would outgrow those parts of myself which frustrate me to the core; those parts of myself which I really wish I could set aside.

But I am beginning to think that this isn’t the case at all. Those parts of myself which I struggle with most will be my life companions. As a wise friend commented recently – the real cross we have to bear is pain of living with ourselves!

So where then is the hope?

I think that it comes in two different forms. Firstly, that I am far more able now to put my hand up and own my failures or weaknesses. If this is done as soon as the problem enters the public arena it defuses a whole lot of misery. Secondly, that I am just beginning to glimpse the importance of receiving the compassion of another when I am at my weakest.

Maybe, just maybe redemption is through these very places of weakness. In learning to live with myself I begin to glimpse the truth that maybe nothing is beyond the reach of the grace of God.

One thought on “Growing up

  1. Maybe, just maybe redemption is through these very places of weakness. In learning to live with myself I begin to glimpse the truth that maybe nothing is beyond the reach of the grace of God.

    I could not agree more. It is when I accepted that I am as good as it gets that Godde’s love suddenly surged through my being. [Well, that happened once…]. As if to give me all that I had been dreaming of.

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